Butterflies are pretty, but they don’t need to be in my stomach…

I have survived… and more importantly, my patient has survived my first two shifts on my own. I finished my buddy shifts last week, and yesterday was the day that I started as a “real ICU nurse”.

My patient for the last two days is pretty sick, but not horribly sick. He is only on one vasopressor, very sedated, ventilated. I have managed not to break him, which I was kind of proud of. He isn’t doing much better after my two days with him, but he also isn’t doing much worse. Right now, we are supporting him until he makes the decision on what he is going to do. Will he get over this pneumonia and whatever else is going on in his gut right now to recover… or will he take the trip into that bright light… Time will tell. Maybe he will surprise us.

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